Bully Boys

It’s difficult to assess a bully on the door when your under the influence, as you could be acting an absolute horror believing your exhibiting behaviour that is sweet and inoffensive.
We all know people even our closest friends and family members whose judgement can become blurred and inhibitions absent once the toxins take hold.
Staff willing to point your behaviour out or stand firm in the face of it can be perceived as bullies simply because most do not want to view themselves at fault.
We all have bad days, we all get things wrong and we all can become frayed at times no matter what job, role or position we are in at the time.
Bullies though are pretty consistent, it’s in the blood a way of life that reflects something amiss in their own lives. Massive insecurities, bad experiences, learned behaviours etc etc etc the lists of the why’s and what for’s seem endless but essentially we are talking about a damaged person in differing degrees.
Put that person into any position of authority in this case on the door and hey ho off we go.
The problem becomes one of danger for others if one bully becomes a collective and they are involved in confrontational work of any form.
The only thing a bullying doorman doesn’t have over say someone in the police or prison service with these traits is a lot of legal backup, but a group of bullies brought together can be a dangerous time for others.
Weak types with bad intentions who can love nothing more than getting a kick from seeing another person feel intimidated or fearful. Usually a weaker type without any bad intention will be their target, but if there are enough of them they will try it on with a more stoic type of man.
That’s when the saying ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ can shock one of these types right down to their little bully boots.
I’m above average height and look slender in my clothes and wear glasses, a four eyes if you will and I don’t look like your average 30 year veteran of combat.
But I’m a battle hardened hombre and my warm and decent demeanour has on occasion been mistaken for weakness by a bully.
Safe to say I have had to alter the perceptions of those intent on intimidation on occasions throughout my life.
I wasn’t always able though, I learned to be able and I learned through this process that bullies are formed through harsh experiences in their own lives and the child always becomes the adult, sometimes a twenty stone adult with a hulking physique and a very aggressive attitude.
I am proud to say though that bullies are absent from the team I work with, the righteousness and the calibre of man I work with have either learned throughout time that this is not the way to behave or were never like this from the start.
From my vantage point door staff are much more inclined to intervene when bullies wear the latest fashions and are visitors to the places we work.
Bullies are everywhere within our midst it’s just that the bully type on the door are much more easy to spot.
Speak with respect to others and you will most often get past the guard that can sometimes be misinterpreted, if the guard relaxes and your still met with hostility, your likely talking to a bully or maybe two.
Bullies do like safety in numbers it goes with the territory and my best advice is that as soon as intuition serves you on a night out, go someplace else where the welcome and energy is more to your taste and liking.